Lash with Jordan guys

Travel Perspectives: Hang Out With Locals, I Say!

Recently I ended up talking to a well-traveled British guy who’s been living here in New Zealand for about six years. We were discussing world travels, swapping travel adventures.

He began telling me about a night out with his mates in Thailand and said something to the affect of meeting up with other Brits to hang out, drink and catch up on life & travels. “You know what I mean, meet up with your fellow countrymen, as you do.”

I had to pause him there to say, “Actually, no I don’t. I never seek out and hang with other Americans when I’m traveling. I certainly don’t specifically pinpoint Americans to meet and chat with, just because we’re from the same country. In fact, I rarely hang out with other western travelers at all. I always hang out with locals in every country I visit.”

Lash trekking at Mt Bromo, Java, Indonesia with Javanese hikers

That gave him quite a surprise and left him speechless for a few moments. When he recovered, his first response was that locals don’t speak English. I informed him that I had learned to speak Thai so I could communicate with people. He didn’t really know how to respond to that one.

In any event, he continued relaying his story and then we moved on to other travel adventures.

In the following days and weeks, I couldn’t stop thinking about his avowed habit of seeking out fellow countrymen to hang out with. It wasn’t the first time I’d come across that very odd travelers’ habit of ‘sticking with your kin’ overseas.

I first encountered it while living in Japan, teaching English. I worked with native English speakers from all over the world. We all got on quite well and chatted often between classes. But once we finished work, we all went our separate ways.

in kimono with sensei (teacher) at a tea ceremony

I spent all my free time studying various traditional Japanese arts: tea ceremony, flower arrangement, playing the koto, wearing a kimono, and others. But most of my colleagues spent their time hanging out together every evening in various western-style pubs, drinking and gossiping with their western compatriots.

I just could not understand it. Why would they move halfway around the world, to an incredibly exotic, completely different society, full of amazing traditions, and then spend all their free time just drinking in bars with people from home?

It was beyond my comprehension. If they wanted to drink in bars with westerners, why didn’t they just stay home?

at student picnic in Osaka Japan

How could they live in Japan – such a unique and intriguing county – without immersing themselves in it?

Years later, while traveling around SE Asia, I met other travelers on several different occasions who happened to have been living in Japan, in the same city as me, during the same years, teaching English as well. Yet we had never met before. Why? Because they had been hanging out in pubs with other westerners!

It’s just baffling.

visiting a temple with an Indonesian friend in Java

From my perspective, if you’re going to travel through a new country, you may as well spend your time interacting with local people. Not other travelers.

Speaking with, befriending and hanging out with local people is infinitely more interesting. You learn about how people in each country really live their daily lives. About their jobs, salaries, interests, hopes, outlooks on life, marriage, family and children, schooling, politics, economics, religious beliefs.

You can find out about great places, sights and activities that aren’t written up in guidebooks or on the internet. You can find out whatever it is you’d like to learn about the people, cultures and beliefs of the countries you’re visiting.

And isn’t that at least half the point of traveling through a new country?

You aren’t going to learn any of that by spending all you time chatting with other western visitors.

Yet I constantly see groups of travelers hanging out together, never making an effort to meet or chat with local people.

Sure, even I admit that it’s fun, interesting and often even educational to chat with other travelers. On occasion. Share your experiences, observations and knowledge about the places and people you’ve met.

But to hang out only with other travelers, exclusively, all the time, is just unfathomable to me.

LashWorldTour with local friends in Malaysia

So I have to ponder why so very many travelers do just that. And why they don’t make an effort to meet locals instead. Or at the very least, in addition to befriending compatriots.

I’ve come up with some possible reasons. And some suggestions about how to start hanging out with local people instead.

Giving my fellow travelers the benefit of the doubt, I’m going to guess that maybe they just aren’t sure how to go about meeting local people. That they really would love to meet and befriend locals, but just don’t know how to do so.

Maybe they don’t realize that so many locals speak English and are eager to meet travelers. They’re not sure how to start up a conversation or what to talk about. They’re not sure where to meet local people.

So I’ve come with this little guide to help encourage travelers to break away from the travel herd pack and go interact with local people instead. At least for some portion of their socializing hours.

goofing off with staff at restaurant in Thailand

Where to meet locals

Let’s start with the obvious… When you’re traveling through any country, you obviously have to sleep and eat somewhere. Well, the local people working at those guest houses, hotels, home stays, backpackers, restaurants and cafes almost certainly speak English, and probably quite well. Chat with them! That’s what I do.

Talk to the staff and owners of your hotel or guest house, to the staff at restaurants, cafes, bars, travel agencies, souvenir stalls and all sorts of shops that cater to westerners. Talk to staff at museums, galleries, zoos, parks & gardens.

Talk to street vendors, beach vendors, market stall owners, artists, street performers. Whoever you come across during your day, you have a chance to strike up a conversation and get to know about them or some aspect of their country.

Where do you like to go, what do you like to do when you’re visiting a town, island or region? Go kayaking, diving or hiking? Visit museums, zoos, galleries? Lay on the beach? Go dancing, drinking, pub crawling? Whatever it is, wherever it is, there are bound to be locals involved. Talk to them!

with Indian guys I met on a train in Shimla

How to start up a conversation

Just start a conversation the way you would with anyone from your own country. Smile, say hello and ask, “How are you today?”

If they’re staff at a hotel, restaurant or shop, you could start by asking about their job there. “What time did you start work?” “How long have you worked here?” “Do you like it?”

Or you could ask more personally about them. “Are you from this town/city?” (Many locals working in the tourist industry have migrated to their job from some other part of the country.) If they’re from another place, you could ask how long they’ve been in that city and if they like it. You could ask what their home town is like, how far it is, how long it takes to get there.

You could ask about their family: husband/wife, kids, parents. Although we westerners are raised to not ask such personal questions to strangers, most people in other cultures love talking about their families. In fact, in many cultures those are exactly the first things to ask new people you meet.

From their perspective, that’s how you get to know someone and how you show interest in them as a person. So ask away about their families. They’ll find you supremely friendly!

with a friend in Bangkok

What to talk about

 Talk about them

Once you kick off a conversation, just go with the flow. If you’ve started asking about them, continue more in-depth with that – their families, job, interests, hobbies.

or…

 Talk about what you’ve done/seen in their country and how much you like it

Local people in every country love to hear that visitors love their country. Pick out something you’ve done recently that you especially enjoyed and tell them about it. Describe your experience and tell them why you loved it so much.

Tell them why you love the people or the food or the architecture…whatever it is that you especially like about that town or country. But be genuine. Don’t make things up. Choose aspects of the country you appreciate most.

 Talk about a current news topic

If you’ve been keeping an eye on the national or local news and there’s an especially interesting/crazy/wonderful topic, talk about that. It could be a sports team, a crime, a festival, unusual weather, anything.

 Talk about a mutual interest

You could ask about that person’s interests and hobbies. Once you hit on one that you’re also keen, talk about that. It could be anything – a particular sport, music, art, travel, club, museums.

with local kids in their village near Sapa, Vietnam

 other tips:

 Learn a few basic phrases in the local language.

“Hello”, “thank you” and “good-bye” or “see you later” will do if you’re just in the country a short time or aren’t too keen on languages. Local people really, really appreciate it when overseas visitors can at least greet them in their own language.

You will earn instant brownie points, creating a connection and warm, friendly feelings between you. Try it, you’ll be amazed at how their faces light up in surprise and happiness.

visiting a local friends’ home in Kyoto

 Stay with a local family

Many countries and/or cities have set up special programs for visitors to go stay overnight with a local family. In rural areas and islands, sometimes it’s a village stay. In cities and more developed countries, it’s usually more a regular local family that is eager to meet overseas visitors and welcome them into their homes.

Such programs usually cost money, which amounts to paying for your accommodation, maybe also for meals and/or entertainment. But in some places, it could even be free! I know of a program in Kyoto, Japan that sets up free visits with local families, all for goodwill and cultural exchange.

with my good pal, Rosie in Singapore. I met her by staying at her place one time. Buddies ever since.

Couch Surfing and Tripping

Both of these online organizations have people all over the world who invite travelers into their homes for unpaid accommodation. Usually, it’s just for 1 or 2 nights. The hosts are eager to help out overseas travelers and eager to meet people from other countries. They’re also keen to tell visitors about their home towns and perhaps show them around.

It’s a great way to meet locals, see how they live, and learn about their cities from a resident’s point of view.

Summary 

I hope this post will encourage more travelers to start interacting with locals instead of just pal-ing around with other travelers. For those of you who do, I promise you’ll have a much more in-depth and genuine understanding of the countries you visit. You’ll make new friends and promote cultural understanding.

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You might also enjoy: 

Why Living Overseas Is Better series 

Would I Ever Live in the USA Again? 

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