brilliantly detailed and colored Indian Hindu Temple

My Sneaky Plan for an Easy Trip to India 

As long as I can remember I’ve been wanting to make a trip to India.

India has so many amazing sights and experiences that I’ve been dying to see & do: The Taj Mahal, considered the world’s most astounding tribute to love; Veranasi, an entire city burning dead bodies on the Ganges River; Rajasthan, a vast desert of sand dunes & camel treks; Jaipur, a fortress city entirely in pink; Dharamsala, home of the Dalai Lama and Tibetans in exile; Goa, miles and miles of tropical beaches; bizarre cave temples in central India; and Kerala with its calm, peaceful rivers meandering through tropical jungles.

Indian musicians playing at Thaipusam Festival in Penang, Malaysia

I love India’s super vibrantly-colored clothes, temples and festivals. Over the years I’ve come to love a whole smorgasbord of delicious Indian cuisine.

I’ve developed a love for traditional Indian music since my dad (world musicologist) turned me onto Ravi Shankar’s sitar music, L. Subramanian, and Kiran Ahluwalia’s sweet-voiced melodic lyrics. My ipod is half full with Indian music.

I’ve been tasting bits of India all over SE Asia for more than a decade. Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and Penang, Malaysia all have sizable Indian communities, large enough to get the smells, tastes and feel of India (though no doubt a cleaner, safer, hassle-free version). Bangkok has a smaller Indian enclave.

I love wandering slowly through those streets admiring the bright saris, energetic music and wafting fragrances of incense and food. I bathe with Indian soaps, sweeten my rooms with Indian incenses, and regularly feast on tasty Indian meals. For years I’ve been dipping my toes in India, dancing around the real India, getting an easy taste of India.

 So why haven’t I gone there?

The answer is clear and simple. I’m terrified of India. As much as I’ve been aching to travel there, I’ve been just as equally scared to go. India embodies most of my major pet peeves: noise, personal harassment, lack of solitude and space, constant never-ending crowds.

devotees carrying offerings before dawn during Thaipusam Festival

My number one travel pet peeve is noise. I loathe traffic noise, loudly-talking people, children screaming, construction. My second pet peeve is being hassled – hassled to buy things or join tours, pestered with personal questions. I like to be left alone, thank you very much.

And as far as I can make out from everything I’ve read and everything other travelers have told, me THAT IS what India IS. Noise, crowds, no personal space or solitude, and hassle. Oh, yeah, and filth.

Over the years, I’ve talked with many other travelers about their Indian experiences, particularly other solo women travelers. Their personal tales have made me even more apprehensive about India, not less.

Indian flower vendor in Singapore’s Little India

I can’t count how many women travelers have told me they were grabbed by Indian men in public. Grabbed on their asses, their breasts, their thighs. Say what?! Women told me how they were stared at, stared down, propositioned, peeped on, touched and otherwise made to feel exceedingly uncomfortable or violated.

Making things even worse, since 2012 more and more rapes are being reported across India. Violent rapes, gang rapes, rapes of both Indian women and foreign visitors. Rape has become an intense national news topic in India.

Why the H would I want to put myself through any of that? The noise, the crowds, the hassle, the lack of privacy and the real threat of rape… I wouldn’t. I don’t.

How could I possibly deal with all that crap? That’s the question.

Indian banana leaf rice – all you can eat vegetarian meal

The dilemma:

And so my debate about whether or not to visit India has raged for years – to go to India or to not go to India.

On the one hand, how could I NOT go to India to experience it’s amazing destinations, colors, food, clothes, temples, festivals and culture?

On the other hand, how would I deal with the human aspect of India? Without ending up in a perpetual state of aggro, pent up rage, and ready to punch any and every Indian man who comes near me. What about my mental stability and psychological health?

What if I visit India and hate it ? What if I flip out, turning into a completely aggro, punch-happy, stressed-out bitch?

On the other hand, what if I would actually be ok there, and by not going I miss all India’s of wonders because I didn’t even try?

vibrantly colored Indian shop in KL – Malaysia

 So my question evolved into this:

How could I visit India and skip all the crap, well at least minimize it to a manageable level? How could I visit India enjoyably, not becoming psychologically traumatized and stressed to my limits?

Over the years I’ve come up with many potential solutions and schemes. For a long time I concluded that I would just wait to visit India when I had a boyfriend, or at least a male travel companion. I know the experiences women with male partners have in India are completely different from those of solo women travelers.

Indian couple in KL – it seems women are much safer in India when with a male companion

Alas, for me the boyfriend or male travel companion has never materialized thus far. And the clock keeps ticking off the years.

I could travel with another woman. But I’m not at all convinced that would minimize harassment from aggressive Indian men.

Oh, how I’ve wished I could employ a grand magic trick and presto-bingo, ZAP, turn myself into a man in order to travel through India. Western men traveling through India have a much, much different experience than women! It seems to be a much more positive and enjoyable experience.

Unfortunately that trick isn’t feasible. Unless I want a real sex change. No thanks, I’m happy being a woman… except for visiting India.

In the past two years, as this on-going debate has continued, despite all the potential horrors awaiting me in India, I’ve been drawing closer and closer to deciding to visit at long last. After all, I’m a veteran world traveler now. And I’m a risk taker. I have to at least try! If worse comes to worst, well then at least I went and I tried.

Here I am at Thaipusam Fesitval in Penang

And so, ta da…

I recently devised a new scheme, one that’s doable. A sneaky plan to travel through India while skipping the worst of it. Yeah! I’m going!

…and my grand adventure will all start… NEXT WEEK! Eek! On Sept. 19^th I fly to Kathmandu, Nepal and begin my massive Indian travel adventure.

Here’s what I’m going to do:

Step 1: 

First I will fly into Kathmandu, Nepal.

I will apply for my India visa there, which takes about one week. In the meantime, I’ll check out all my favorite spots in/around Kathmandu. (I visited in 2001 for one month).

So, people, get ready for great new photos and travel stories from Nepal!

Nepali temples in Kathmandu

Step 2: 

Once my Indian visa is in hand, I will travel west across all of Nepal to its westernmost border with India. That will take about one week and 3-5 all-day bus rides. Sigh…

Step 3:

Indian women carrying pots of milk

Eventually I will reach the Indian border. I’ll enter India at Banbasa in the mountainous state of Uttarakand, the foothills of the Himalayas. I will travel across Uttarakand, visiting old British hill station towns, yoga-meditation center towns and other small mountain towns, which will take about one month.

From there I’ll continue west into Himachal Pradesh state, also in the Himalayan foothills. I’ll visit even more hill station towns and finally wind up in Dharamsala, home of the Dalai Lama and the Tibetans in exile. Exciting!

By taking this route I will completely skip India’s big cities and the most densely populated regions around Delhi. (Closest major city to the Himalayan states)

I presume the small towns in the foothills of the Himalayas will be much less of all the ‘mess’ of India – less crowded, fewer people, less noise, less traffic – if only because of their much smaller size and populations.

Then the only question remains: how to get out of there, the Himalayas, India’s far northwest corner?

Here’s where my next sneaky step kicks in:

pretty Indian temple at the foot of Penang Hill

Step 4: 

I will get myself directly to Delhi’s new international airport (via train or bus and the new Delhi underground train system) and fly directly and immediately to India’s Andaman islands. I’ve been dying to go there since I became a PADI Dive Instructor back in 2004.

The Andaman’s are located in the middle of the Indian Ocean, closer to Thailand than India, but are only accessible from inside India. The Indian government does not allow anyone direct access internationally.

I plan to travel through the islands for one month, spending Christmas and New Year’s soaking up the tropical sun, scuba diving on pristine coral reefs and lounging in my bikini on powdery white sand backed by palm trees.

perhaps the Andamans look like this beach in Thailand?

Step 5:

In mid January it will be time for me to fly to Chennai city and then directly on to Bangkok, Thailand. I have a ‘date’ to meet up with my brother, his Thai wife, my mom & her husband.

In between the 2-month Himalayan journey and the Andaman Islands, IF I’m feeling brave enough I might dash over quickly to see the Taj Mahal before flying on to the Andamans. I’ve built in enough time in my schedule, just in case. If I don’t think I can deal with India’s masses, noise and harassment, then I’ll skip it. No worries.

beautifully illuminated Indian temple at night

Summary:

My sneaky trip plan will allow me to travel through India for 3 ½ months and completely skip all Indian cities, all the country’s major throngs of densely populated humanity, the most deafening traffic and the worst hassles.

Yes, I might miss many amazing sights & experiences. I might miss the Taj Mahal, Veranasi, a camel safari in the desert, the pink city, the temple caves of central India, the unique architecture in India’s major cities. But I will keep my sanity and have an enjoyable, relatively stress-free trip through India.

My psychological health and emotional happiness are worth far, far more to me than getting to see some great sight-seeing attractions, no matter how amazing they might be.

Besides, I will be seeing and experiencing plenty of equally amazing places: the Indian Himalayas, old British hill Stations, Dharamsala, Rishikesh (made famous by the Beetles and now a major center for yoga, meditation and Ayurveda medicines, and wanna be hippies) the Andaman Islands and other places I’ll discover along the way.

Lash with blue margarita cocktail

Now we just have to see how well my sneaky plan is actually going to work. Please cross you fingers for me and my sanity. Off I go…

QUESTIONS:

 What do you think of my sneaky trip plans?

 If you’ve been to India, what were your experiences?

 Do you have any other tips, recommendations or suggestions for me? 

*NOTE: I later altered my entry/arrival plans, which you can read about here.

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You might also like: 

Highlights of my Proposed Trip Through India

Photo Gallery: Indian Thaipusam Festival in Penang

My Visit to Kathmandu

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